Meet Valerie

Sometimes people come into your life in the most bizarre places, and you don't realize they'll leave such a lasting impression until after you part ways.

A few weeks ago, I was flying home from New York and had to change planes in Charlotte.  On my way to my next gate, I dashed into the ladies' room for a quick pit stop in Terminal C. It was early - maybe 7:30 a.m. - and I'd been up for hours. That's when I heard Valerie.




There I was relieving my bladder, minding my own business in my own little stall when I first heard her singing. I listened while I washed my hands and walked out. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but at first, I found her singing annoying. Then a funny thing happened on my way to my next gate: Valerie's little "diddy" got stuck in my brain. A week went by and it was still there. Another week - still there. Finally, it hit me.

Valerie has taken a menial, rather depressing job and made it enjoyable. I know nothing about her - how old she is, how long she's been wiping down toilet seats and sink counters, picking up women's trash and going home each day smelling like a public bathroom. None of that matters.

Valerie reminded me to find the joy and humor in life. Next time I fly through Charlotte, I'll be sure to thank her.

Meet Dottie

Last May, at around 5:30 a.m. one morning, 87-year old Dottie woke up when she heard someone in her house.

"Mom? It's me," her daughter said after letting herself in with a spare key. "You need to get your checkbook. Take your valuables and your dog and and drive up to the clubhouse."

Like hundreds Middle Tennesseans, within hours, this independent widow lost practically everything when five-feet of water eventually flooded the main level of her home in a storm that killed 32 people state-wide and caused over 17,000 people to request assistance from the Federal Emergency Management Agency.  


With the help of her daughter and son-in-law, Dottie eventually waded through knee-deep water to safety, while her furniture and collectibles she acquired with her late husband of almost 50 years were destroyed, racks of clothing ruined and photographs of family and friends damaged. Even her car was totaled. 

After the water dissipated, everything was covered with a thin layer of dirt.

The weight of the wet clothes caused the entire clothes rack to pull out of the wall.

Wet clothes were separated into piles after the storm. 

Everything was removed to the studs and dried out before her home could be rebuilt.

"Life is what you make it. We're going to survive this,"

she said. Dottie, as well as her daughter and son-in-law who live nearby (and also lost most of their belongings), didn't have flood insurance. After the storm, Dottie's other daughter (who lives out of state) called and said, "'Don't worry about what you lost.' Over the last couple months, she scoured estate sales and consignment shops, even through me a 'flood shower.'

"I could not believe all the nice things that could happen because of one bad thing. I lost treasures, but I gained so much more."

I first heard about Dottie from a friend who said, "She's one of the most positive people I've ever met." After our first meeting in the temporary home she has been sharing with her daughter and son-in-law - a generous gift from some friends - I had to agree. Dottie is charming, humble, and her enthusiasm for life, infectious. She deals with life's challenges head-on. 

Around five years ago, she sold the Midwest home she built and shared with her late husband. She left her lifelong friends, her volunteer work and bought a smaller attached home near her daughter and son-in-law. 

"The winters were getting to me. My grandchildren and great grandchildren were here. I realized that the longer I waited (to downsize) the more of a burden I'd become. I've always been an independent woman. I never wanted to be beholding to anyone," she said, then added, "But, if my two daughters hadn't helped though, I would have brought two times the stuff."

She admits moving wasn't easy, but Dottie joined the local YMCA's senior program to make new friends and signed up for day trips to learn the area. After reading about FLIP (Friends Learning in Pairs), an intergenerational tutoring program that provides one-on-one sessions with elementary age public school children, she applied to become a trained volunteer.  The program looks for volunteers with a high level of enthusiasm and commitment.  

"I try and not let down times get me down,"

she said during my second visit as her not-so-petite, well-fed dog and constant companion nuzzled against her. I thought she was referring to the flood, but I soon realized that attitude applies to everything in her life. Two years ago, during her regular breast exam, the doctor discovered a tumor which required Dottie have a lumpectomy and go through radiation. 

"It wasn't that bad," she said. "I met people much worse than me. The hospital was great and the people were very friendly."

A few weeks ago, I visited Dottie again, this time at a rehabilitation hospital shortly after she had hip surgery. This was her second hip surgery and years earlier, she'd gone through knee replacement. When I asked her how the recovery was going, she said,

"Not bad. This time I knew what to expect. - 
I'll be fine."

Dottie's Tips to Age Gracefully

• Put yourself out there. Believe in yourself. Nothing is impossible.
• Stay positive.
• Expose yourself to new things. (Dottie reads the newspaper every morning, watches both the local and national news, watches TV game shows, reads biographies, and loves to go to the movies. Her favorite? Sex and the City. “My daughter said, ‘You sure you want to see it?’ 
• “A friend of mine says, ‘Make sure your brain’s engaged before you open your mouth.’”
• Exercise. Dottie goes three times a week to a special class at the YMCA that exercises every muscle. 

Sonje Mayo

You're never too old to look and feel better

"As we age, we need to eat and exercise wisely," says Sonje Mayo, former professional dancer/choreographer/physical therapist and 65-year old Pilates instructor. 

Sonje's tips for eating and exercising:

1. Get your heartbeat up for 21 minutes max several times each week. Getting on a machine for 45 minutes is pointless. You want minimal wear and tear on your joints. 
2. Your core is everything, not only to protect your back, but to take the weight off your legs as we age. 
3. Martha Graham used to say, "Don't come with a bald face" to class. Hair is very important. If you look good, you feel good.
4. Don't eat HUGE portions. Protein the size of your palm, that's all you need at a serving.
5. Worst food someone can eat is sugar. 
6. Eat the fat, just don't eat this low fat nonsense. If you're going to eat butter or eat cheese, eat the real thing. BUT eat less!
7. Eat fruits and vegetables. Any kind. Whatever's seasonal. 

Sonje's Story

At first, Sonje Mayo's charming South African accent is a tad distracting. The same is true of her physique. At 65-years old, she has some wrinkles, but she moves like a 20-something ballet dancer. No lie. No exaggeration. Honest-to-God truth.

"Hello, my darling. Come in, sit down. Let's get to know each other," she said, during my initial consultation. A friend/yoga instructor suggested I meet her. For nearly a year, my back was causing all sorts of pain. After a series of x-rays, a Cat Scan, several cortisone shots and months of chiropractic adjustments and treatments - all covered by medical insurance - I wasn't any better.

So I scheduled a series of Pilates classes with Sonje Mayo, some private, some "duo" classes using the equipment and a series of group mat classes. It was during my first mat class that I had, let's call it, my "wake-up call."

Lying on my back with my legs at a 45-degree angle, I listened to Sonje count. At any moment, I thought she would complement me on my form. Instead, I glanced down to find her French manicured finger nail pointing an inch above my navel.

"Pull it eein, eein and up!" she cried. "Tuck your ribs, elongate your tail bone. Come on now! I don't want to see any sausage rolls! Pull it eein! Pull it eein and UP!"

In that split second, I realized that behind the proper accent and inside that sculpted body was a perfectionist who expects her clients to stay focused and not just go through the motions. I was there to work hard, get stronger and hopefully eliminate the pain in my back.

Truth be known, Sonje hates slackers. If you're hurt, that's different. If you're lazy, no excuse. And if you whine? Well, take my word, just don't. In hindsight, it's what I should have expected from an acclaimed internationally known choreographer.

Talk about a core workout!
The black platform is attached by springs below the bar that Sonje Mayo's feet are resting on. Using her core strength, she moves the black platform to the left then slides it back carefully so the springs don't slam. 

It's also what I'd expect of a former Alvin Ailey dancer and physical therapist. She's focused on one thing and that's to make her clients' cores stronger and in so doing, protect their backs and knees.

Meet Mildred

Early one sticky morning, while slouched on an old wood bench nursing my coffee, I heard about Mildred. I confess. I eavesdropped at the dog park.

Nearby, her granddaughter Sarah and a handful of locals swatted flies and swapped stories about the heat wave. Casually, as if it was no big deal, Sarah mentioned her 88-year old grandmother Mildred’s air-conditioning went out.

Mildred, Sarah and Sarah's dog, Dali

“She lives alone in the Midwest. Until the repair man comes, she’s been spending time in her basement.”

I couldn't help butting in. "What does she do down there all day?”