Meet Mildred

Early one sticky morning, while slouched on an old wood bench nursing my coffee, I heard about Mildred. I confess. I eavesdropped at the dog park.

Nearby, her granddaughter Sarah and a handful of locals swatted flies and swapped stories about the heat wave. Casually, as if it was no big deal, Sarah mentioned her 88-year old grandmother Mildred’s air-conditioning went out.

Mildred, Sarah and Sarah's dog, Dali

“She lives alone in the Midwest. Until the repair man comes, she’s been spending time in her basement.”

I couldn't help butting in. "What does she do down there all day?”

“She works on her photo albums,” Sara replied, smiling proudly.

"If I ever need to know when I did something, I look it up in one of my albums," Sarah said.

Mildred's basement is not a cushy, finished room. She descends at least 12 steps into a cinder-block walled space with fluorescent overhead lighting. Besides a few carpet remnants, the floor is exposed concrete. 


Mildred doesn't seem to mind her sparse surroundings as this is where she's chosen to work on her photo albums for the last 20-plus years.

It all began when Mildred retired from teaching school, the most recent, sixth grade. Now, despite some hearing loss, macular degeneration and severe arthritis, Mildred has become her family’s unofficial Memory Keeper.

By her last count, she's completed at least a total of 115 albums for Sarah and the other three grandchildren and her eight great grandchildren. Each album has around 100 standard size pages. Currently, she's working on Sarah's fourteenth album.

Mildred has also completed seven albums that document her family's early days. And she's made copies of those books and distributed one to each of the family members, Mildred added, not boastful, but more matter-of-fact.

Over the years, I've met people who document their family's lives, but not one who gives everything away. Mildred's albums are what I'd call old-school style. She doesn't use any stickers or cut-outs. She keeps things simple, yet precise.

Her daughters send her the photos and basic caption information, the newspaper clippings and special notes and mementos that Mildred weaves throughout each album. To keep her production organized and economical, Mildred buys four-dozen albums at a time, reams of archival paper and plastic sleeves that she stockpiles in her basement.

When Mildred completes an album, she sends it off. 

Sarah's collection is proudly displayed in her living room.

"I usually work on my albums on Sunday afternoon,” she explained. “Sundays are lonely. Lots of people get together with their families. Since I (choose to) live alone, I like to talk out loud as if I’m visiting with the person whose book I’m working on. I draw lines to the side with pencil and then once I write about the photo in permanent pen, I erase the pencil line. I like to write in first person, to write what I think they would be saying in the photo.”

Little notes and letters end up in each album

"Don't your hands ache?" I asked.

Mildred laughed. “If you could see my hands, you’d know. My knuckles are large and my fingers are all crooked. But every morning, I fill one kitchen sink with cold water and the other with water as hot as I can handle. Then I dip my hands in one side and count out loud to 10 really slow and then put my hands in the other sink and count again.”

Mildred drew free-hand the rose vine border

She also limbers up by practicing the Palmer method, a traditional teaching style of repetitive shoulder, arm and hand movements used to learn cursive handwriting.

"What about your eyesight?" 

Mildred still enjoys reading, although she now orders large print books to be delivered and owns every size and shape of magnifying glass you could imagine, she admitted.

“I’ve had laser surgery and I still get shots in my eye. I can still see, but I live with that possibility of knowing that I may lose my eyesight completely. Right now, I can’t focus in on anything with my right eye so I can only read for half an hour at a time," she said, not whining, more matter-of-fact.

She also can’t drive anymore so she relies on the local senior van to take her to visit friends at nursing homes. She has her groceries delivered and a friend takes her to church each Sunday.

Life isn't always Picture-Perfect

At 20-years old, Mildred got married. A few weeks after her honeymoon, her husband was drafted. Then two years later, while her husband was fighting in World War II, her parents died leaving her in charge of her two younger brothers.

When Mildred was 49-years old, her husband died of a heart attack. It was just six months after they’d moved into a new home, the same one she lives in today.

"What gives me strength is my faith," she said. "Every era has had it’s joys. Am I lonely? I’d lie if I didn’t say ‘yes.’ But it’s up to me to do something about it. It’s my choice. Every day, I thank God for giving me a good night sleep and giving me another day.”

THREE TIPS ON AGING GRACEFULLY

Mildred says:

1. Respect all people including your husband and family.
2. Be yourself. Don't put on airs. Don't think you have to be an expert in every field. Recognize your blessings and credentials and enjoy them.
3. No gender is superior or less than another.

"THE BIGGEST MYTH ABOUT AGING - "

"Everyone says it's a golden age," Mildred said. "That's a myth. That doesn't mean that they're not livable years. Don't want to give it the wrong image. In old age, the time doesn't drag, it flies. I hardly get the calendar turned and I have to turn it again."

HER MORNING RITUAL

Years ago, Mildred went to visit Sarah and her family on the other side of the state. One night, Mildred complained to Sarah that her hip hurt and she was going to bed early with a heating pad.

At the time, Sarah was still in middle school and active in sports. The next morning, before Mildred changed out of her pajamas, Sarah stopped her in the hall and said, "Grandma, I’m not going to let this happen to you. Before you change out of your pajamas, meet me in the living room. We're going to get down on the floor and I’m going to teach you some stretches."

Since then, Mildred has followed Sarah's exercise routine daily.

"I get up early, eat some toast and drink my coffee while I listen to the early news," Mildred said. "I do my devotions and then get on the ground for half an hour, never less than 20 minutes, and do my stretching.”