Sonje Mayo

You're never too old to look and feel better

"As we age, we need to eat and exercise wisely," says Sonje Mayo, former professional dancer/choreographer/physical therapist and 65-year old Pilates instructor. 

Sonje's tips for eating and exercising:

1. Get your heartbeat up for 21 minutes max several times each week. Getting on a machine for 45 minutes is pointless. You want minimal wear and tear on your joints. 
2. Your core is everything, not only to protect your back, but to take the weight off your legs as we age. 
3. Martha Graham used to say, "Don't come with a bald face" to class. Hair is very important. If you look good, you feel good.
4. Don't eat HUGE portions. Protein the size of your palm, that's all you need at a serving.
5. Worst food someone can eat is sugar. 
6. Eat the fat, just don't eat this low fat nonsense. If you're going to eat butter or eat cheese, eat the real thing. BUT eat less!
7. Eat fruits and vegetables. Any kind. Whatever's seasonal. 

Sonje's Story

At first, Sonje Mayo's charming South African accent is a tad distracting. The same is true of her physique. At 65-years old, she has some wrinkles, but she moves like a 20-something ballet dancer. No lie. No exaggeration. Honest-to-God truth.

"Hello, my darling. Come in, sit down. Let's get to know each other," she said, during my initial consultation. A friend/yoga instructor suggested I meet her. For nearly a year, my back was causing all sorts of pain. After a series of x-rays, a Cat Scan, several cortisone shots and months of chiropractic adjustments and treatments - all covered by medical insurance - I wasn't any better.

So I scheduled a series of Pilates classes with Sonje Mayo, some private, some "duo" classes using the equipment and a series of group mat classes. It was during my first mat class that I had, let's call it, my "wake-up call."

Lying on my back with my legs at a 45-degree angle, I listened to Sonje count. At any moment, I thought she would complement me on my form. Instead, I glanced down to find her French manicured finger nail pointing an inch above my navel.

"Pull it eein, eein and up!" she cried. "Tuck your ribs, elongate your tail bone. Come on now! I don't want to see any sausage rolls! Pull it eein! Pull it eein and UP!"

In that split second, I realized that behind the proper accent and inside that sculpted body was a perfectionist who expects her clients to stay focused and not just go through the motions. I was there to work hard, get stronger and hopefully eliminate the pain in my back.

Truth be known, Sonje hates slackers. If you're hurt, that's different. If you're lazy, no excuse. And if you whine? Well, take my word, just don't. In hindsight, it's what I should have expected from an acclaimed internationally known choreographer.

Talk about a core workout!
The black platform is attached by springs below the bar that Sonje Mayo's feet are resting on. Using her core strength, she moves the black platform to the left then slides it back carefully so the springs don't slam. 

It's also what I'd expect of a former Alvin Ailey dancer and physical therapist. She's focused on one thing and that's to make her clients' cores stronger and in so doing, protect their backs and knees.

A mat class at Sonje Mayo's Pilates studio

Looks easy, but done correctly, it's a basic core killer!

Fortunately, I wasn't the only one to be called out that day or any class since then. No, Sonje's reputation as a stickler goes way back and is well-known among many of today's accomplished dancers and choreographers, including Arthur Pita, one of the leading choreographers in Europe.

In 2006, Arthur was quoted in the Johannesburg Sunday Times. Sonje, who recruited him as a teenager to a prestigious arts school where she taught, opened him up to "what life was about," he said.

I asked Sonje what Arthur meant.

"I told Arthur what I told all my dancers," Sonje recalled. "It's not about learning the dance or doing the dance. It's that dance teaches you how to approach life. I used to say if you're disciplined in class, you are disciplined in life."

(That's her on the right)

Her confident, strongly opinionated attitude is a product of growing up in South Africa during Apartheid and dancing professionally up until 10 years ago. 

The Early Years

As a small child, she says, "I didn't understand what was going on. I took it as the norm and didn't realize the impact. But it worried my father terribly. He was very nervous to say too much. He was a Jew and his parents had run from Germany, you know what I'm saying? You learn to keep your head down. You don't want to make waves. He didn't want to draw attention to himself. But he was so liberal. He spoke about everything at the table every night - psychology, Freud - he made up questions and asked my sister and I our opinion."

Ironically, her father's views of education included music, (perhaps because her mother played the piano) but didn't include dance. When a teacher noticed Sonje, who wasn't more than 4-years old, had natural talent and approached him, he initially said, 'Ballet was an indulgence and dancers were known to have loose morals!'"

Then the teacher confronted her father again and told him he'd be "'doomed to hell and damnation for not allowing a God-given talent like mine to be developed,'" Sonje said, adding, "she even offered to teach me gratis. That is what really got to my dad. No child of his would be a charity case!"

From then on, dance became part of Sonje's life. She competed and eventually went on to study dance and physical therapy at the University of Cape Town, one of the most liberal universities in South Africa. "I would even go as far as saying that UCT was the only effective opposition ot the Nationalist Government at that time. It was a real hotbed of politics and I got very involved. My father was worried because so many UCT students were arrested and he knew I was very involved." 

After graduating, her parents encouraged her to leave the country. She landed first in London, then Canada and finally, in the U.S. To her father's credit, it wasn't her dancing ability that allowed her entrance into each country. It was her skills as a physical therapist. Eventually, she ended up auditioning for Ailey and became the first "white" dancer.

"I suppose he (Ailey) was under pressure to accept other races into his company which had always been exclusively black," Sonje explained. "He also liked my discipline, both technically and mentally and he felt that the dancers in the company could learn from that."

And because Sonje could move like an African due to her exposure to tribal dance, she thinks that was a reason he took her as the "token" white.

In 1971, she got married and returned to Cape Town where she had a son and daughter and founded JAZZART. It was the first openly multi-racial dance company in the history of South Africa.

(Sonje is on the far left)

"Up to then, some choreographers had used black dancers but they were always camouflaged or they could only perform in a protected personal 'studio' environment, meaning no tickets were sold to the public," she said. "I was breaking the law. Apartheid prohibited black and whites dancing together. Up to then, there was had never been a modern dance company of this genre...but the public was pleasantly surprised."

By the early 1990s, every day life was tense. "Crime was out of hand in South Africa. The blacks had been oppressed for so long - it was total mayhem. We lived with 12-foot high walls, barbed wire on top, alarms, patrol dogs and Jack slept with a loaded gun by the bed. The police were overwhelmed," she recalled.

Eventually, the couple and their two (now grown) children moved to the states and settled in Nashville for her husband's career at Vanderbilt University. She continued to dance and choreograph, even formed a dance company. And then one day, she woke up with a herniated disk.

"Out of the blue, it happened...I knew I had to stop dancing and teaching because contemporary dance is very visual and you make up as you go along the way. I called a physical therapist friend of mine in London. She listened to me and then said, 'You know what to do. Find yourself a good Pilates teacher and stop whining.'"

At 65-years old, Sonje demonstrates in her Pilates studio

Ten years later, Sonje, now a grandmother, is a comprehensively trained Peak Pilates trainer. Her goal is to reach the next level - to become a master trainer, one of the few teacher trainers in the country. It's a lofty goal, even for someone half her age.

"It will probably take me til I'm 90," she laughed. "But, I'll never retire, although I'll probably have to slow down. (A short pause as if she peeked into the future) But, I'll never stop working."